Being led by example

When someone gets sick or finds an unusual rash in a unusual place they would most likely call upon a doctor.  If your car doesn't start you might pop the hood and look at stuff under there for awhile hoping to find a big giant hose flailing around and another part that looks like it needs a hose connected to it; when eventually you realize you have no idea what you're doing.  There is no help menu located next to the blinker fluid reservoir, so you seek a mechanic.

I was thinking about how it seems hard for people to ask for help in some areas of their life but not others.  For a long time I felt I knew how to handle my money, I didn't need anyone else telling me what to do with my money, some people don't need anyone else telling them how to raise their kids.  I don't know why certain people make certain things really personal but I'm trying to live out a new philosophy "When in doubt, ask an expert".  We live in a world where there is an absolute expert on every single verb, noun and even person that ever existed.  For the last couple of years I've been a fan of Dave Ramsey, a personal finance counselor that helps callers on his radio show.  I had to come to a conclusion at some point in my life where I thought, I don't know anything about money, I don't have any.  How could I be an expert on money if I've never had any.  I'm currently doing the same thing with business, there's only so much experience you can gain in one year (one year's worth), but there is almost an infinite amount of knowledge.  I can't get my hands on enough books to keep my brain happy.  I'm always thinking what topic or author should I read about next, I do this to a fault and have about 10 books with bookmarks 3/4's of the way through them.

My point is that I want to express my appreciation for the humility I've learned in realizing that someone out there knows more than me about everything and they wrote a book about it.  I may not enter the world of restaurant business with the most money or the most experience but I will have as much knowledge as I can.  The more I learn about what others have done in the marketplace the more I shape and mold the direction in which I want to go.

I know this seems to have nothing to do with weight loss but I think I can bundle it up.

The amazing transformation that comes with improving yourself, especially losing weight, is so very powerful.  The confidence I have in myself with even the small progress I've made surpasses just elevated self esteem.  I look forward to challenges and confrontations that I've feared all my life.  I know someday I'll be sitting at a table across from someone who I need desperately to believe in me, and I'll have the confidence and knowledge they are looking for.  The shame and guilt and humiliation of being a fat person in a fat-people hating world is beginning to melt away.  Sometimes overweight people might think that if people just understood how hard it is to deal with this maybe something might happen.  What?  What's going to happen if the thin world understands and feels the pain of the fat kid in school?  They are only going to wonder why we aren't trying harder.  If you hate something so much, do something about it.  I know this is easier said than done but listen to my words carefully.  Hate.  The overweight individual is said to "Struggle with their weight", that just sounds so generic.  I HATE being fat and I have snapped.  I am past my point of disgust, I have exhausted all sympathy for myself and I have ridden my bike passed the point of no return.  You need to hate the "Being of fat".  Hate it.  Understand why the world looks down upon this.  People can't help but think negative thoughts about people who are overweight.  It is not because we eat more food or take up more space, it's because it gives off a negative impression.  It represents a lifestyle of irresponsibility and lack of motivation.  The only person who has the right to be offended is the fat person who has spent years of relentless exercise and healthy eating without ever giving up and is still fat.  They don't exist so none of you are that person.  I know people think poorly of fat people because I catch myself thinking that way about other people.  I almost feel ashamed of the first thoughts that come to my head when I see someone who's overweight.  I can now think three things about that person,

1.) They have given up.  Because if a fat person tells you they don't care to lose weight they are lying.  It's easier to say you don't care when you know your body image is telling people you don't care.  But you care, and everybody knows it.

2.) They haven't snapped yet.  These people are "Struggling" with their weight, not kicking it's ass.  They haven't given up yet but they are working on it.  They are constantly doing things they shouldn't with an inevitable disclaimer attached that says, "I really shouldn't be eating this".  I know this person well.  I was always this person.

3.) Those in transition.  This is where I am.  I am leaving no room for modesty.  I am only about honesty here.  Those in transition have snapped, they have had their fill of the fat life and they are destroying their way out.  This can look different for everyone, not everyone needs to become a triathlete overnight but it's a mental situation that happens.  You might be the only one who knows you've snapped but if you truly have snapped, your secret will soon be found out.

4.) I'm going to add this 4th one, even though I said 3 because it doesn't really count.  It's the EX-fat person.  You can be an EX-smoker, EX-drinker, EX-anything, and with these accomplishments comes something that can only be acquired by them.  Pride.  A specific pride that comes with weight loss will be with anyone who loses weight even if people never even knew they were fat.  Part of what drives me is the hope of having that little mental trophy I've wanted my entire life.  I don't want to lose weight so I can be popular or win a pageant.  

Being fat is failing.  If you are fat, you are currently failing at being fit.  There is no better way to describe this.  That is another reason it haunts people so emotionally, they know deep down inside that it's their fault for whatever condition they are in and they are failing.  Think about if you were half way through a class at school and the teacher said you had an F for the class and it was too late to fix it.  Would you continue to go to the class everyday.  I feel like that's what being fat is like, it's like you're a failure and you have to get up everyday and go to class even though you have failed.  The good news, is that failing ends when you have snapped and decide you don't want to be a failure anymore.

This is not a blog about being beautiful inside and out and finding your happy place.  You are beautiful inside, I know that.  People are made in the image of God and God is beautiful.  It is likely though,  that you are not happy with yourself on the outside.  It doesn't matter if you're beautiful on the outside if you're not happy with it.  Ever notice groups of really overweight girls typically hang out?  I'm not trying to be mean, but I think it's an important question to ask.  People are likely to hang out with other people who make them "Feel good" and not push them to be better.  The "Feeling good" is false though, that group of overweight girls who joke about being fat like they don't care and enable each other so as not to feel guilty are desperately wishing they were thin.  All of them.  I will not believe you if you tell me you are happy being fat and you quote some famous catch phrase fat people use.  "More of me to love", "More cushion for the pushin".  We've all heard them, and we all know they're bogus.  

If you want to be thin, start doing what thin people do.  Thin people are NOT on the Atkins diet, thin people aren't on the "Popcorn only" diet.  I know it's a little more complicated than that but if you make it too complicated you are bound to fail.  I've noticed a trend at the gym, MOST of the people there are in pretty good shape.  I would say I'm one of the most overweight people that I see on a regular basis at my gym.  The answer to why this is the case is easy.  Fat people either stop going to the gym or they become EX-fat people and I can't tell they were fat.  It's weird how that works huh?  So by process of logical reasoning, I know that if I keep going to the gym I will become an EX-fat person.  Still aren't convinced?  Go to the nearest bike trail or outdoor park area, how many overweight people are there?  There might more fat people than thin people, but ask yourself what they are doing.  I'm going to guess by experience that the fat people are sitting, playing baseball, eating, walking or sitting in their car.  The thin people are more likely to be riding bikes, running or playing basketball.  The power of observation can be so interesting and yet a little humiliating as well.